My other favorite boomer blog, The Boomer Chronicles, weighs into with a post titled “Male Menopause is an oxymoron.” I remember sitting through a conference workshop in the mid-1990s on this subject, and both blushing and leaving the room in fear of my 50s. Of course, at 40-something, 50 seemed a distance island I would simply bypass on my way to Nirvana.
As she who knows ennui writes in TBM, the proper name for the changes SOME (did I type that in caps? Should I underline it as well?) men experience is andropause, which, she says, includes — FOR SOME — these things (which, if I were mean and reading a list of jokes for turning 50, I’d read during the roast as a list of things for your pal to look forward to):
- Reduced sexual desire
- A decrease in spontaneous erections (such as during sleep)
- Swollen or tender breasts
- Loss of body hair
- Small or shrinking testes
- Height loss and thinning bones
- Reduced muscle bulk and strength
- Hot flushes and sweats
Fortunately, for me, I never had No. 8, so I’m good on that one. And I might be OK with No. 5, if it meant no more shaving.
(Hey, anyone written a play called Andropause? Sort of a bookend for Menopause The Musical? If not, I call dibs.)